Leaving the Baby(s)

Today is the day….in the works for months.

I am leaving on a jet plane and I do know when I’ll be back again. Sunday lol. This is a big deal for me actually because I haven’t left my 6 month old daughter yet and I’ve only been away from my 3 year old twice in her life so ya, this is a big deal.

I am off to Montreal for the weekend to celebrate one of my best friends, she’s getting married in May so we decided to do her bachelorette now so the weather is a bit more predictable (it snowed on my wedding day in April after having 22 degree weather two days before).

I’ll be honest I don’t know how to “party” like I used to, even though I had been able to throw them back quite easily and now I’m lucky to make it past 11 pm.

These struggles are real but I have EVERY intention of making it past 1 am for this weekend because its one of the only times I’ll be kid free and with my best girls.

Friendships are very important to me which is why I’ve held onto these girls for 18 years.

They have literally seen IT ALL.

Every breakup, fight with significant others, death and illnesses, drunken falls and disappointments but also every happy moment like graduations, new jobs, engagements, weddings, babies and buying houses.

All of my best memories have these girls in them and I think it’s a huge accomplishment to hold onto your friends so *patting myself on the back* yay! MONTREAL!!

When you have kids, it’s easy to forget your “old” life because you are so immersed in your new one but my advice to any new or going to be new mothers:

DO NOT LET GO of your friendships:

Every girl needs a good, supportive girlfriend and I am lucky enough to have several.

Sure, it’s taken a lot of effort on both sides to maintain these friendships. But really, sending a simple text saying “Hi – how was your day?” Or sending a funny Meme goes a long way.

2007: BEFORE Weddings, Babies and Mortgages;

2017: After some weddings, babies and mortgages (missing a group member here, E.M)

Writing this brings me back to May 2001 where my girls and I boarded a big bus for a 7 hour ride to New York City.

We stayed at the The Hotel Pennsylvania which currently has a 2.8 rating with Trip Advisor and warnings like “Stay Away!

Yes the Hotel was kind of gross but it was our first trip away from home and for us, it was pretty magical.

I highly recommend reading the Trip Advisor comments lol.

Anyway, it was my first time being that far away from home and Montreal is an equal distance in terms of kms and time believe it or not.

Here is our beautiful bride at the Empire State Building:

Here we are in the City (missing LS and EM) We are 17 years old….

This was pre-9/11 too so the city was a very different place. Right now if you were to go to NYC, it would feel like Disney Land compared to 18 years ago.

Back then even in 2001, NYC was still a gritty, eclectic place but when I returned in 2013, I was so disappointed because I felt like every thing had changed on me and there wasn’t that “feeling” I had originally felt.

It looked cleaner visually; with all of the big name corporations and stores, built for rich people. The changes in 12 years were very dramatic and it was evident “Big Brother” was watching with cameras every where and plain clothed officers scattered about.

An eerie feeling of paranoia and fear washed over me – this wasn’t the NYC I knew….

Maybe I am just older and more self aware but I know what I felt in 2001 vs. 2013. Watch a couple of Sex and the City episodes from 1998-2000 and you may understand what I mean. Better yet, just watch Mad Men to visualize the NYC I was hoping for!

Montreal is kind of the same for me in terms of going to cities on my own and feeling that urbanization you don’t get in the suburbs.

In 2002, my other BFF (who is also coming this weekend!) and I went there together for March Break because her Dad had a work conference. He offered to take us with him and her mom so we could stay in a nice hotel, go out and party and they would be there to watch over us.

They pretty much stayed out of our way but every night at 2 am (our curfew), we would stumble into that room and into the large king size bed we shared with her mom.

I am sure that room smelled lovely when the maid walked in each morning.

We met a group of guys who were also partying there and spent the two nights running around Montreal with them. This was long before social media, so luckily a lot of the debauchery was NOT documented (well it was with a disposable camera which I think I lost.)

My trusty Motorola flip phone didn’t take pictures but it did have that cool snakes game on it! Oh the stories I’ll have for my daughters one day.

When you go to a place like Montreal and you live in Ontario, right away you feel like you have stepped into a magical, French speaking, worldly place.

It is nothing like Ontario or at least it wasn’t 13 years ago (that’s how long it’s been since I last went) so I am hoping to avoid the disappointment I felt in NYC. I hope it’s exactly the way I left it 13 years ago. Here’s to hoping!

Anyway – leaving the kids should be great as they are in good hands and I doubt I’ll miss them until the very last day. That’s usually when I get this sudden urge to go home. It happens every time I travel. I’m usually fine for the first 3-4 days but by days 5-7, I am a home sick mess.

In fact, I cut my trip to Florida short last year by 2 days for this very reason! Once I get it in my mind to go home, I need to get home. In all fairness, my dog-sitter was bailing two days early so she could go somewhere for the weekend.

I couldn’t handle the thought of my precious dog-child being alone so I booked the VERY last, last minute flight back to Canada and flew home – alone.

Yes I left my husband and child with my mother and step father in Florida because I couldn’t take it any longer.

That’s a story for another post because it’s a good one.

Thankfully this trip is just a weekend so I’ll be ok but if it were a week, we may have a problem. 🙂

I wasn’t like this before, in fact I used to be fun! So this weekend, I have resolved myself to be that girl I used to be. The FUN girl who can drink more than one beer and not think about being a hungover mother the next day – and NO I am not saying you need to drink to have fun but of course it helps!

My dear friend has been part of all of our weddings and now it’s her turn. I can’t wait 🙂

Here we are at my wedding. Poor girl literally has a million bridesmaids dresses….Love you NC.

Let’s plug in our hair straighteners, put on some Britney, crack the champs and party like it’s 2002!

3 thoughts on “Leaving the Baby(s)

  1. Cassandra says:

    Dear Mommy the Banker,

    I’m looking for advice on how to improve my credit score and fix my financial situation. My husband and I have a small amount of debt, but our monthly expenses are very high. Do you have any tips on budgeting and how we can pay down our debt? I should mention we have 3 small children and as a mother of 2, you can empathize how expensive children are. We hope you can shed some light on how to get back on track to improving our future.

    Thank you for your time & advice,

    Mom of 3.

    Like

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