An Honest Obituary

I found this today while reading our daily newspaper; The Hamilton Spectator

I have like 100 questions for this woman. Her honesty in her former spouse’s obituary blew me away.

Obviously something happened during their marriage which ended in divorce but what? And why? The author of the obituary clearly wanted a specific person(s) to read this and think about their actions.

When my dad died, there was so much turmoil between families for various reasons. I’ve been enlightened these last few weeks about what happened during that time and for me, it’s been a relief and a release of emotion, to finally know the things I thought I had remembered, which were indeed true.

There were many opportunities to tell me the truth about questions I asked, things were never explained properly or without one party looking better than another. So when I began asking questions, I got my answers and those answers were exactly the way I remembered them to be.

“Although you don’t see it – it is a blessing he died because he wouldn’t have been able to handle losing the love of his life and a divorce.”

From an anonymous, unknown author

Just like the writer of this obituary said: excessive, outside interference” can cause so much damage to relationships, families and kids.

I was led to believe that “outside interference” caused so much stress in my own parents short-lived marriage when really, it wasn’t true. It was almost the exact opposite, just as I had always believed deep down inside but was told otherwise.

Again, no idea if it was to protect me or to make other people look innocent but still – I finally have some closure on things.

For this poor lady who wrote the obituary, she wanted people to know she never forgot the love of her life even though she lost him.

I never want to forget the first love of my life; my own father, even though I never got to tell him how I felt. I hope the author of the obituary was able to – it sounds like she did and wanted to make sure everyone knew that.

The truth hurts but it also sets you free. I am finally getting the closure I needed for so long to questions I had.

Today I am going to share my own Father’s memorial from the exact same newspaper, printed 26 years ago, last name has been shaded out for privacy;

It was a difficult, sad, hurtful time and changed my life forever but it made me who I am today and that’s ok.

To anyone struggling these days with their past and trying to blog it out as therapy, I am doing it too. It’s the only thing that helps me really keep it all together.

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful Tuesday.

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